Why Belonging Matters: Understanding Behaviour, Trauma & School Exclusion | Dr Lisa Cherry

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Why Belonging Matters in Behaviour, Trauma and Education

In this episode of the Able to Care Podcast, Andy Baker speaks with Dr Lisa Cherry about belonging, trauma, school exclusion and the experiences of children and adults who have felt pushed out, moved around or misunderstood.

Lisa shares powerful insights from her research into care-experienced adults who were also excluded from school, exploring how movement, rejection, instability and unbelonging can shape behaviour, identity and emotional safety.

What We Explore in This Episode

• What belonging really means and why unbelonging can be so painful
• How school exclusion can affect a child’s sense of self, safety and trust
• Why behaviour may be a survival strategy rather than a deliberate choice
• The importance of places, spaces and faces in creating belonging
• How trauma, care experience, neurodivergence and poverty can overlap
• Why adults must avoid taking children’s behaviour personally
• How small “micro-messages” can tell a child they matter
• What parents, foster carers and educators can say when a child feels they do not belong

Belonging Before Behaviour Support

This conversation challenges us to look beneath behaviour and ask better questions. Instead of simply asking, “How do we stop this behaviour?”, Lisa encourages us to consider whether the person feels safe, accepted and significant.

For children who have experienced trauma, school exclusion, care moves or relational loss, belonging is not a soft extra. It can be the foundation for trust, learning, emotional regulation and behaviour support.

Who This Episode Is For

• Parents and foster carers supporting children who feel rejected or unsafe
• Teachers, school leaders and SEND professionals
• Caregivers working with trauma, attachment and behaviour that challenges
• Professionals interested in trauma-informed and relationship-based practice
• Anyone who wants to better understand belonging, identity and exclusion

At its heart, this episode is a reminder that people do not just need to be managed. They need to know they matter.

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